Fashion Garments

A decade has come to a close, and thankfully, a slew of bad fashions have been laid to rest with it. As a result, I’m dedicating this column to the top 10 heinous fashions spawned by the last ten years.

1) Durty denim. What misled person thought up this idea? Who wants to go and buy new jeans that look they’ve been rolled in muck puddles? This look climbed to such heights of popularity that Beyonce tells us in Destiny’s Child’s Eight Days of Christmas that “On the sixth day of Christmas, my baby gave to me/ A crop jacket with dirty denim jeans.” Preposterous. I’m so happy to say goodbye to this heinous trend.

2) Lace-up denim. Remember the jeans that had a lace-up tie in place of a zipper, prevalent around 2002? I owned a pair, and to this day I don’t know what I was thinking. You might as well wear a sign that says, I’m easy! Also, they had a tendency to avoid staying up. Double fail.

3) Popcorn shirts. You know, those tiny, puckered shirts that look like they’re made for a three-year-old, but are really one-size-fits-all? These things were such an eyesore. I actually saw some in a store the other day “” luckily it was only a Walgreens in Florida. Had it been a legit store, I would have needed to speak to the manager. Dreadful.

4) Tent dresses. I don’t even know what these are called. They’re so ugly I can’t bring myself to pay attention to them. You know, those dresses that fall straight out in an A-line from the top, and don’t fit the bust or waist? These are universally unflattering, even if you’re a bigger girl. Avoid at all costs.

5) Metallic down-filled vests and jackets. Remember these from the point at which Y2K hit? Oh yeah. I really see no point in looking like an alien dressed for winter. These things were drastically unflattering. That is all.

6) Bandanas. What was with people walking around looking like gangstas? I don’t get it. This look was especially bad on women. Not even celebs could pull it off “” remember Beyonce busting out white ones? Sorry to keep referring to her, but she was often looked to, for whatever reason, as a fashion icon throughout the ’00s. Anyway, bandanas: all bad.

7) Butterfly clips. Slicking your hair back from the forehead and fastening it in tight coils is possibly the most unflattering look possible. Add plastic rainbow-hued clips in juvenile shapes and you’re pretty much the worst looking human being imaginable.

Kate Gosselin haircuts. You know, the mom from John and Kate Plus Eight? Much like the butterfly effect mentioned above, the whole slicked back thing isn’t exactly working. Add spikes to the crown and back and you’re treading down a slippery slope of ugliness.

9) Platform flipflops. Let’s turn comfortable, practical footwear into a danger zone for sprained ankles! What a ridiculous idea. Not only do unstable shoes on platforms create a sketchy situation, they’re just plain ugly and clunky looking “” not graceful.

10) Ugs, Emus, knockoffs. These aren’t necessarily ugly. I must profess that I own a pair. The problem is that their level of practicality is slim to none. These shoes, as any of you who have tried them out will know, do not do their job. You wind up with sopping feet and feel as though you might as well have gone outdoors in your slippers. The protective spray doesn’t work either. You live in Canada; get waterproof boots and leave the Ugs to their intended purpose, which is after- surf wear.

Sarah Ratchford writes a weekly fashion column. She is also the editor of UNB’s campus paper, the Brunswickan, and love or hate mail can be directed to editor@thebruns.ca.

source:http://herenb.canadaeast.com/reviews/article/905303